Out Of Breath…

I feel like I’ve been running, and now I’m slowing down; out of breath.  I’ve never been forced into a postion where I had to write every day before.  Since I’ve been with the paper, that’s pretty much what I’ve been forced to do – so like a runner who is out of shape, I’m gasping.  I actually do want to ‘get into shape’ as a writer, and to that end, I think my best course of action is to take some writing courses.  I’ve done fairly well without them, but now I’d better get ready for the next race; even while I’m still on this one, for that is the nature of this type of race.

I wrote an editorial about the gun registry a few weeks back in the local paper. I think the current gun registry is disasterous and a total waste of time and money, but I do think there should be one in place.  There was a well written letter which ‘corrected’ some of the statements in my editorial from a professor at SFU.  Our editor was consoling about it when we spoke together about it.  I didn’t feel that way.  I was flattered that this man even read the piece. I realize too, that he was right, I didn’t properly research the topic before spouting off about it.  I’m feeling a time crunch, and this is definately affecting the material I’m putting out.

Perhaps too it is because I’m really still learning about research.  Another time crunch issue.  There’s too many things I’m trying to do, and there’s never enough time.  I realize too how whiny this sounds…everyone feels a time crunch today!  Our human world we’ve created just keeps moving faster and faster, with more and more stuff going on, flying by. 

Since I’ve been living here, I’ve learned to mark time differently in a more sane manner.  However it doesn’t work with the age of technology which we all must live in to one extent or another.  I suppose I should look at it like I was lucky to have had that time during which things moved so much more in sync. with the cycles of nature.  Now I suppose I’m adjusting not only to writing a lot, but re-integrating myself back into the world of humans – rush. rush, rush!

I whined the other day to one of our local friends that I’m still learning how to balance a working life with the rest of my life – getting the garden done, house cleaned, laundry done, plus seasonal jobs that must be done, such as continuing to stain the outside of the house, annual cleaning and sorting chores and the constant watering which must be done in the veggie garden especially due to the heat here.  My friend looked amused and just nodded his head.  I know – he’s been doing it all along, so it isn’t so much of a challenge for him.  I used to be able to do it too, although I did find it exhausting.

I won’t be at the paper for very long, so this may be the very best time to look for an ideal writing course to move me along to the next step.  I will try hard not to wince when I read something I’ve written which sounds bad to me, since I am still learning.  I’ve read plenty of really bad writing from other people, so giving myself permission to suck now and again shouldn’t be so daunting.  I’ll never write unless I give myself permission to suck.  Anyone who writes anything sucked at least at one time or another.  It’s part of the learning process.

I think part of it is that when you’re learning something new as an older person, most people don’t believe that you’re a beginner, just because of your age.  When young, no one takes you seriously.  When older, everyone tends to take you seriously to begin with, so they don’t believe you’re a beginner – you MUST be an expert because you’ve got gray hair.  Either that, or you’re a moron.  Well, in this day and age, unless you’re willing to be a beginner and get going on something new, you’d better be rich.  Only the rich and the ’still working’ will adjust to all the changes, I’m thinking.

Today I’ll rest for now, at least as a writer.  Day off – I’m cleaning out the basement today.  Gotta get some of this stuff out of here while we still have summer.  I hate hanging onto stuff we might use ‘one day’ but never do.  This is where it is sometimes tough to negotiate with your partner…